mood: worried

music: Cobra Starship - Fold Your Hands Child

Good evening. Not my usual thing to post something at a time like this. Well, I need to, cause it's disturbing myself. 

I've always hated myself for thinking about the littlest things in life. It made me uncomfortable. It's a habit of mine. I read expressions like a book. I can tell that they're lying. Or like, pretending it's okay when they're really pissed off at me. I often think that my friends have this half assed kindness. When actually they're not. Oh my god I can't even explain this with the right words!!

In conclusion, I am always too sensitive about what my friends think of me. I don't like them feel upset or mad because of me. Don't you get it? 

Let me make things clear, I'm not really sure whether my friend is disappointed or not, because we only talked through text messages. But I'm 77% sure I made her feel annoyed. It's cause I can't come to school tomorrow for my family's sake. I should've come, well, tomorrow they're planning for doing the group works for this competition. I'm not avoiding the group work because I'm lazy or something, it's really just a coincidence. I'm just feeling bad for not being able to help them. If you're reading this then I hope you'd understand. It' just for a day. We have like this important business we have to settle in this family. Okay. Well..

I'm just hoping they're doing it on Thursday so I could come. 

Have a great night. I mean, have a nice sleep!